


Simon Says

by Loverboy_Lance



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alive Marco Bott, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I haven't watched season 4 yet though so no spoilers for that, I wrote more angst, I'm taking liberties with the base material, M/M, Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein-centric, Not Canon Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Marco Bott, Tags Are Hard, bertholdt reiner and annie are still titan shifters, bertholdt reiner and annie tried to kill marco and failed, eventually I say canon? what's that? but it takes a little while, marco has to go by a different name so he's simon now, nobody knows he's marco... or do they?, spelling bertolt as bertholdt, spelling krista as christa, uhh season 3 spoilers I think, y'all know I had to do it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 15:15:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29155701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loverboy_Lance/pseuds/Loverboy_Lance
Summary: Marco is dead, at least as far as everyone knows. He didn't really die, though, he just faked his death so that he could survive. After finding the dead body of one Simon Neuman and assuming his identity, how long will Marco be able to keep up this charade? And how many lives will be put on the line while he does so?
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Eren Yeager, Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir, Levi Ackerman/Erwin Smith, Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Reiner Braun/Bertolt Hoover, marco bott & everyone even though they don't know it
Comments: 5
Kudos: 81





	1. Evading Death

**Author's Note:**

> Okay I'm back! Finally! It's been for-fucking-ever!  
> So I hate that Marco had to die and I want Jean to be happy. Hate me for that if you must, but I just want my boys to be happy together... after some struggling and angst, of course! What else would you expect from me?  
> And yes, I gave my favorite boy some major plot armor at the beginning of this. Don't worry, though, he uses his intelligence without much plot armor to get through the rest of the story! I didn't want to give him too much plot armor, after all.  
> Also, one last note! I know these chapters are small, that's because I separated what I have of the story where it felt right to separate it. I'm still writing it but I do have a good amount done and should hopefully be posting once a week on Tuesdays (fingers crossed). Finally, a regular schedule!

"Why aren't you even willing to talk to me?" I screamed. "Why? Even you, Reiner! We all trusted you! You were like our older brother! Why betray us like this? Was that your plan all along?"

Reiner turned away, seemingly unable to look me in the eye. Bullshit.

"And you, Bertholdt! You're just as bad, you know that? You never talked, probably because you were scared that if you did you'd give everything away!"

Bertholdt had turned away now, too, and Annie was preparing to leave with them.

"I didn't even get to tell him goodbye! Jean's going to find my dead body and never know why! Bastards!"

Bertholdt nodded and then all of them took off on their 3DMG gear, leaving me to die. I screamed again, trying to guilt them into turning around and saving me, but it became clear quickly that if I was going to be saved I'd have to save myself. The only problem with that was that if they found out I was still alive they'd make sure that I wasn't able to survive again.

I kicked at the titan's teeth until its jaw fell open and I landed collapsed on the ground. I could feel that it had poked out my eye and scratched at the surrounding skin so I'd definitely have scars, but I could make do and live with that. I couldn't use 3DMG gear to get out of here since Bertholdt, Reiner, and Annie had taken mine off and if I put it back on not only would it take time but it would be evidence that I'd survived. Instead, I needed to think my way out of this situation.

First thing's first though, I needed to get away from this titan. Think, think, think Marco, think…

To buy some time to think more about what to do I ducked into a collapsing house and hid behind a counter. Fortunately, the tall titan was too large to fit through the door and would probably just go after other people.

With a dark laugh I silently hoped it chose to chase Bertholdt, Reiner, and Annie. Would serve them right, really, for the amount of people they'd killed.

I stayed hidden and barely breathing until the titan, against all odds, actually gave up and walked away. That gave me a _lot_ more options for what I could do. First thing's first, though, make sure that I could be assumed dead.

I crept out of the house and snuck along in alleyways, looking for a body I could pass off as mine. Luckily I didn't have to look long; I found a mangled body with black hair and vague freckles a few alleys away from where I had nearly died. I took off his 3DMG gear and slipped it onto my body and then looked to see if I could identify his body.

There was a small notebook hidden in his breast pocket that I took out. It had a name in the front and seemed to be a diary. Perfect!

"I'm sorry," I whispered to the dead man. "I know you were probably a good cadet, and this is likely the last thing I should be doing… well, let's just let you serve the cadets one last time."

I put the diary in my breast pocket and hoisted the body up in my arms. After dragging him over to where I had been I set him down in a way that made it look like he had slumped over after half of him fell out of the mouth of a titan.

"Almost me," I muttered. "How can I really sell it?"

That's when it occurred to me: the only way to truly sell that this was my body would be to leave something of mine on it.

"Forgive me, mother," I said as I knelt next to the body. "If I don't do this I won't survive. I promise I won't let any harm come to it."

I slipped my mother's engagement ring off of my right hand and onto the right hand of the corpse in front of me. There. Surely that would be enough. It _had_ to be enough.

\-----

I hated not being able to talk to my friends most of all. That truly was the worst part of being dead, or at least having all your friends think that you're dead.

Jean was a wreck and I couldn't even help. I had to play the dutiful part of Simon Neuman, a man I had learned all about through a diary and heard of his lack of friends. While that was a good thing for me, it truly was a pity for him. I could at least use this as an opportunity to make friends with those who thought I was dead, though doing that would probably be a bad idea as Bertholdt, Reiner, and Annie could recognize me.

When Eren got taken away to the Scouts by Captain Levi himself I breathed a sigh of relief. Surely everyone would see how dangerous following the Scouts was and only Mikasa and Armin would go.

Then the bonfire happened. I couldn't even approach my friends without rousing their suspicion but I could hear Jean's speech from where I stood. With a shudder I listened as he proudly proclaimed he would be joining the Scouts in my honor. I had to restrain from walking over there and slapping some sense into him because really? It was one thing to play the hero like Eren, but Jean's entire dream had been to join the MPs. He shouldn't just give that up for me, of all people, especially since for all he knew I was dead!

Unfortunately he didn't seem to be changing his mind. In fact, he was busy trying to convince the other members of the 104th cadet corp that he had befriended to join him. If they were all going I might as well follow, despite the fact that the idea terrified me.

\-----

There was an investigation launched because someone with 3DMG gear had killed two titans that were test subjects of the Scouts. I had three theories as to who it could be: Bertholdt, Reiner, or Annie. Maybe even all three. The only problem was that I couldn't tell anyone because that would expose me and I'd be just as dead as those two titans were.

Armin though, ever the smart one, was watching everyone's 3DMG gear get inspected. I didn't know what he expected to find from it until Annie got inspected.

They cleared her but I was able to see, without a doubt, that she had presented _my_ old 3DMG gear for inspection. She had assumed I was dead so she stooped so low as to use my gear to cover for her kills. Armin's eyes lit up in recognition as well, but if he was smart he wouldn't say anything. Accusing Annie on a whim like that would only lead to suspicion of himself and Annie, and then he'd be her target.

Armin was smart. He'd stay quiet. Please, Armin, stay quiet so I don't have to watch them lose another friend.

\-----

I found myself pulling nervously at my eyepatch during Ervin Smith's speech, a habit I had developed after the loss of my left eye. He seemed set on scaring all of us so that only those loyal to the cause who weren't shaking in their boots would stay, but I wouldn't let that deter me.

When he finished the floodgates opened and the crowd left quickly, nearly trampling each other in an attempt to escape the Scouts.

Jean stayed. Connie and Sasha stayed. Ymir and Christa stayed. Mikasa and Armin stayed.

Bertholdt and Reiner stayed.


	2. Welcome to the Scouts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still have to hit you guys with some feels! The fluff is coming in uhh _checks calendar_ two weeks, so that's fun. Even that fluff is limited since there's only so much time that Jean and Marco can sneak off together. Also, buckle up because there's definitely angst before that fluff! I know, I know, but trust me, it's worth it!

Seeing Eren get swarmed by his friends the moment we noticed him was bittersweet for me. I was happy he had somehow survived this long, but at the same time it hurt that he didn't know me.

As they were all talking I started to walk off but Eren called out.

"Marco?"

I had to resist the urge not to whip around so fast that everyone would know. Instead I turned around at a reasonable speed with a sad smile.

"I'm sorry, you must've mistaken me for someone else," I said. "It's nice to finally meet you Eren, I'm Simon Neuman."

Jean's eyebrows narrowed as anger wrote itself all over his face, quickly followed by sorrow.

"Marco's dead, Eren," he said.

"But how?" Eren demanded. "Marco was the kindest person I've ever met! He was also smart, so he wouldn't have fought a fight he couldn't win! How did he die?"

"No one knows," Connie said. "Jean found his body but no one was around to see him die."

That hit me harder than it should've. Jean was the one to find 'my' body, which explains how he recognized it. He knew about my mother's ring since I had told him about it, so of course he'd remember that and know that the body was mine. I should be breathing a sigh of relief that my bluff had worked, but all I could feel was hurt.

Now that I looked closer, Jean was wearing something around his neck that he hadn't been before he found 'my' body. It reminded me of Eren's key, though that surely couldn't be it since Eren still had his key. Could it be my mother's ring? Could I be that lucky? Is there a chance that I could actually someday get it back?

"Alright, newbies, welcome to the Scouts," said a voice behind me that had us all jumping to attention. "I'm Captain Levi. Is this really all we could recruit? Shit. Ervin, I thought I told you not to scare everyone off…"

"Talking to yourself again?" Another person said, popping out from behind Captain Levi. "I thought that was my job."

"It is, Hange. You're the insane one, after all."

"Well hello, new recruits!" Commander Hange waved with a manic grin. "Welcome to the Scouts, as I'm sure Levi has already said! You're going to hate it here, we promise!"

Eren groaned. "Hange, really? I thought you were at least going to _try_ and not scare them."

"What's the fun in that?" she argued. "I think it's much more fun to simply terrify them so hard that they won't be scared by titans anymore! Better they be scared of us than the titans if they're going to be killing titans!"

"Ignore her," Captain Levi grumbled. "Now, as I'm sure you've noticed, this place is a wreck. Your first assignment is simple: you're going to help clean."

\-----

I ate dinner with the rest of the newbies, including Eren. They seemed to realize that I had no other friends who had come with me, so they adopted me into their group. I was relieved that I wouldn't be shunned by them, but eating at the same table as Bertholdt and Reiner was nerve wracking.

I didn't talk much and instead opted to listen to their conversations. Apparently Eren had been training how to use his titan with the help of Captain Levi and Commander Hange, and they were planning on testing Eren's abilities in an actual battle sometime soon.

The others listened intently, but I could see that a few people were also thinking about other things. Reiner and Bertholdt looked like they may be planning a way to take down Eren, possibly even in his titan form. Sasha was focused slightly more on her food than Eren, as per usual. Jean though… he was worrying me.

Jean had been out of it for the past few days, only fueled by rage when he needed to get something done. He seemed to be slipping further and further away from the rest of us and into a dark space that none of us would be able to get him out of. The only way I could think of to help him would be to reveal that I'm not dead, but if I did that things could get even worse because I would be more likely to actually die.

I couldn't help it; I tuned out of the rest of the meal and focused only on Jean. If only I could really help him, then maybe I'd be able to sleep easier.


	3. The Female Titan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the spirit of staying true to the manga/anime, I did some _intense_ research for this one. I think I poured hours of time and work into figuring out the formation so that I could get everyone in the right spots, but I honestly probably missed something. Believe it or not there actually isn't a diagram or key for where the main characters were, so I did my best and I hope it's good enough. Enjoy the drama and angst!
> 
> Also, I know I said I was going to try and keep to Tuesdays. I _did_ post on a Tuesday, but I really meant to post earlier in the day. Sorry guys, I got really caught up painting a glass painting of Denki Kaminari... oops!

As it turned out, the mission where we would be testing Eren's titan form was a reconnaissance mission. Us newbies would be on the outside of the formation to be the eyes of the Scouts and keep an eye out for titans. Eren and the Levi squad would be positioned elsewhere in the ranks.

Coincidentally, I got put near Jean, Reiner, Armin, and Christa. That was good because I could keep an eye on Reiner and if he tried anything Armin would figure it out. It was also good to be near Jean so I wouldn't be constantly terrified that he'd die while I couldn't try and help him. Christa was also nice to be near since everyone seemed to like her, which meant it wasn't likely she'd be targeted by Bertholdt or Reiner.

I pulled at my eyepatch again, readjusting it and picking at a scar near it. Armin looked up from his horse and saw me sitting on mine picking at my scar and he frowned.

"You know it's not good to pick at scars like that, right?" he said.

"I know, I'm just nervous," I admitted.

"Aren't we all," he said with a laugh. "Still, you're only going to hurt yourself more. It would be good to find something else to fiddle with."

"Well I did have something a long time ago," I admitted, "but it's gone now."

"That's too bad. What was it?"

I hesitated and looked around. After checking that it was just me and Armin in the area at the moment, I sighed. "My mother's engagement ring. It's been gone for a while now."

Armin's eyes widened. "That's expensive! How do you lose something like that?"

"I didn't lose it. I just… I had to use it for something and haven't gotten it back yet."

"So how can I help you get it back?"

"You hardly know me so why are you so ready to help me with this?" I asked.

"Simon, this is obviously important to you," he said. I flinched slightly at him calling me Simon, even though that was the name I was going by. "I assume I'm the only one who knows about this?"

"Technically one other person knows, but he doesn't know it's about me," I admitted. "He thinks it belongs to someone else. Honestly, I think he might have it. I can't exactly ask him about it, though, since we both have secrets we need to keep."

"I understand," Armin said. "Maybe I could get you a replacement? Something cheaper that you can mess with instead of hurting yourself?"

"I don't know where you'd get something like that," I said.

"I'll make it! Or maybe I can ask Eren to help me make it. He'd do anything I asked as long as it's reasonable, so we can pull something off. After this is over, of course."

"Guys, we need to get going!" Reiner yelled from in front of us and I couldn't help but flinch. Armin threw me a concerned glance but I shook my head and he moved back into formation.

\-----

I knew something was wrong when the smoke signals on our side of the formation started to grow thinner. That meant either people weren't able to signal or they were dying. Thankfully, the signals from Jean and Armin kept coming.

Armin seemed to notice that something was going wrong too, which I knew since I heard him shout from far in front of me that maybe we should signal to the commander somehow. In front of me Jean agreed, but Reiner pointed out that we had no way to do so.

I cursed under my breath. This was definitely a set up, there was no doubt about it. Eren was supposed to be positioned somewhere on our side of the ranks, probably towards the front, and now people were dying quicker than they could tell us what was headed our way.

As I was trying to think of some sort of plan I was cut off by a crash in front of me. I looked up and a titan, bigger than any I'd ever seen, was charging through the ranks. Armin barely dodged, or at least his horse did, both a speck in the distance. I pulled back on my reins and I heard Christa do the same, both of us attempting to get away from the titan near Armin. I could also tell that Jean was also trying to get further back since he was slowly coming into focus in front of me.

Reiner went straight to help Armin, though, and even if the others may think he had good intentions I wouldn't put it past him to kill Armin somehow. Hell, maybe that titan was Annie and she was trying to do the job herself.

There was shouting up ahead that I couldn't quite make out and Jean started to charge forwards. I had to restrain myself from doing the same and charging after him since he didn't know who I was and Simon Neuman would have no reason to.

The giant titan looked like it was about to crush Armin like it had been doing to some of the other people that were now just blood on the ground. Instead, it crouched down in front of Armin for a moment before standing up again. Reiner charged and the titan simply reached out and grabbed him in its fist. I knew better than to hope that he was dead, but it was a possibility…

Unfortunately, he wasn't dead. He spun out of the titan's hand in a flurry of blades, falling gracefully and definitely not dying. After that, the titan moved on.

Definitely an irregular, then. I shot a black smoke signal into the sky and Christa followed. The black rose into the sky and more black started showing up to our left.

I looked ahead of me in shock when Reiner, Armin, and Jean all didn't fire off shots but I couldn't see them. What if they were dead? Reiner probably wasn't, but what if Armin was? That would be a horrible loss since he was so intelligent and somehow able to get Eren under control. And spirits, what if Jean was dead? After all he'd been through he deserved much better than that kind of an end.

Christa pulled her horses back to where I was stopped and she hopped off gracefully.

"Simon, what's the matter? You look like you've seen a ghost. Worse, really. Was it multiple ghosts?"

I shook my head. "I'm just worried about them," I said.

"Worrying is only natural," she said. "I worry about Ymir all the time. She's not much for bravery and stupid acts of heroics like a lot of us are, but she'd sacrifice herself in a heartbeat if someone's life was on the line that she cared about. She and Jean are quite similar in that way I think, though I can't say for sure. After all, there's only a few Jean would deem worth sacrificing himself for and one of those few is already dead."

"Really?" This was the first I had heard about someone Jean cared for dying. "He's lost someone?"

"We all have, really," Christa admitted. "Quite the loss, too. Marco was such a bright spot in many of our lives, but Jean really took a liking to him." I felt a shiver run down my spine. I really should tell Jean, especially if what Christa was implying was true. "Ymir did much the same with me, so I can only imagine what it would be like for her if I died. Jean dealt with it recklessly, which is why he charged in I'm sure. He's always going on about trying to be someone Marco would be proud of, but I'm not so sure Marco would be proud of the way he's been acting."

"I wouldn't tell him that," I said. "Besides, how do you know Marco wouldn't be proud of his reckless bravery?" I wasn't, but I couldn't say that as if I knew Marco myself.

"Marco wasn't one for needless heroics," Christa said, and that much was true. "He seemed to admire Jean _because_ he wasn't willing to throw his life away. He thought highly of Jean simply because he was a man who knew what he wanted and wasn't afraid to call Eren out on his bullshit whenever he was being reckless."

"And Jean is mourning Marco by being reckless and saying that's what Marco would want him to do?"

"Exactly." Christa frowned. "You know, Simon, if you'll excuse my bluntness for a moment I must admit something."

"Of course."

"I think maybe the reason he's so worked up is that you probably remind him of Marco." I felt terror grip my lungs but I couldn't let that show. I had to be surprised. If they found out it was over, only Jean could ever know… I had to tell him about myself once this was all over if we both survived. I might not get another chance. "You have the same disdain for the recklessness that Eren always has, and you're quite smart even if you don't always let it show."

Suddenly, before I could reply, our attention was stolen by a horse running alone towards us. I recognized the horse as the one Jean had been riding and immediately dismounted to run up to her.

"Hey there," I said softly, shushing the horse and carefully walking up once I was close. "You're Coco, aren't you? Jean's horse?" Coco's panic started to fade slightly, so I stepped closer. "I want to get you back to Jean, okay Coco? Will you come with me? Calm down and you can come with me to look for Jean."

Coco had calmed down enough that I could stand right in front of her and she wouldn't kick me. I pet her lightly on her snout to calm her down even further before grabbing ahold of her reins and leading her over to where Christa had been keeping an eye on her horses.

"You're good with horses," she said, and I flushed.

"I'm not usually, I just figured that since Jean lost his horse the only way for him to survive would be to get it back to him so I had to try."

"You really care about him, don't you?" Christa gave me a pointed look. "Don't go getting too attached, Simon. It won't do you any good since I'm sure he's hung up enough on other things that he won't be able to spare you much time."

"Even if I do care about him, what's it matter?" I shot back. "I just want him to live. In this world, I know better than to expect anything in return."

\-----

Somehow Jean, Reiner, and Armin had all survived and were hunkered down in the cover of a few trees. They had all lost their horses so it was fortunate that Christa and I each had a horse to spare along with Coco.

"Christa, you're a lifesaver!" Reiner said.

"Actually, Simon here did most of the work," Christa said. "He's the horse-whisperer that tamed Jean's horse."

"But she's mean to everyone," Jean said, giving me a side-eye. "There's no way the one person in our ranks that none of us really know was the one who was able to tame the one horse who only likes me."

"I don't know how he did it but he did. Just be grateful, because without him one of you would be down a horse."

"Right. Sorry, Christa."

"Really it's no problem. Our main concern now will be staying away from titans. Are any of you injured?"

"My head isn't doing great," Armin admitted, "but with the bandages I think I'll be fine."

"Then we're all good to move?" I asked. Everyone nodded. "Alright, this time we're sticking together more. It wouldn't do us any good to lose more soldiers than we have to, and based on the lack of smoke signals that have been coming from our right we're some of the only people left anyways so the formation isn't our top priority right now."

"I like how you think," Armin said. "I probably would've suggested the same thing if you hadn't just said it."

"Enough chit-chat, let's get moving," Jean grumbled.

Once everyone was mounted on their horses Jean took the lead. Armin was more towards the middle, since he was injured, and Reiner had insisted on being close to the front with Jean. In fact, they had argued over who would lead and Jean had won the argument. Christa and I were in the back.

We went a surprising amount of time without seeing titans before seeing one and firing off a single red smoke signal. It passed off as more people fired in return. Nobody said a word.

Suddenly a figure on a horse burst through the trees to our left. It was a Scout that I didn't recognize, and he was passing off a message that we were going to split at the forest ahead of us. We'd be going to the right and sitting in the trees. Pass on the message.

We nodded and the Scout went back in the direction he had come from.

"So who's going to pass it on?" Christa asked.

"Who are we kidding, there's no one left over to our right," Jean growled. "We should just stay together and follow those orders."

"Part of the orders was to pass it on," I pointed out. "I'll go if no one else will."

"Simon-" Christa started before Reiner cut her off.

"I could go instead."

"No, I'll go," I insisted. If I had it my way Reiner was not going off on his own. I didn't trust him enough for that. "You're needed here more than I am."

"Are you sure, Simon?" Armin asked. "You don't have to go, Jean could be right."

"It's still good to check," I said.

"He has a point," Christa said with a sigh. "Still, I don't like it. It's more likely that you just won't come back."

"Just stay," Jean said.

"If no one wants me to go I guess I won't, but what if there's still people left? What about them? They have families and friends too, like us! Besides, I don't really have anyone left! Out of all of you I'm the most expendable!" It wasn't exactly true, since I still had all of them if they only knew who I was, but until I could reveal myself I might as well still be dead.

"Simon, you're wrong!" Christa said. "You have us! Besides, even if you didn't you can still make friends and get people, you don't have to be alone forever!"

"Christa," I begged, "you have Ymir, Reiner has Bertholdt, Armin has Eren and Mikasa, and Jean has Connie and Sasha. You all have to get back to someone, don't think I haven't noticed. I'm the only one who doesn't have that. Just let me go tell the people who might be alive."

"You're wrong," Jean mumbled, and everyone turned to him. He looked up at me with a blazing fury in his eyes and his voice got firmer and louder. "Connie and Sasha have each other to go back to. I don't go back to them. The person I went back to is gone, dead because of these goddamn titans, and I'll be damned if I lose anyone else! You're not going!"

That hit me hard enough that I couldn't help but give in. I nodded, embarrassed, and looked away from Jean. He didn't even know I was still here. I had to tell him, I _had_ to. Maybe if we could get far enough away from everyone in the forest that would have to do… no, that was too risky. I'd have to hope we both made it back in one piece.


	4. Feelings and Revealings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. I know I promised fluff this week, but... well, things happen! There _is_ fluff, but it's preceded by loads of angst. Sorry Jean, it had to be done. Let Jean cry 2k21!

In the titan forest we had to cower in the trees as titans scratched below us. All we could do was wait for the order to leave, and we were stuck here until then. Jean was still frustrated and that was dangerous, but in a place like this I had to keep an eye on Reiner at all times. If he was able to so much as slip away for a moment then it could be over for all of us.

After waiting quietly for what felt like hours, the titans suddenly abandoned the trees and charged into the forest.

"They're all irregulars?" Christa squeaked.

"What the hell?" Jean growled.

At least it would make it easier to get away.

\-----

"This is pointless," Jean grumbled. "All we're doing is standing still. What's the point in this?"

"Maybe if something does happen then we'll be in a good position for it?" Armin suggested.

"I doubt it," Jean said, but he did go quiet for a while.

\-----

"It's a good thing titans don't eat horses," Christa commented. "At least we'll be able to get out of here quickly, whenever that does finally happen."

\-----

"How much longer are we going to have to wait?" Reiner complained. "I just want to fight something already."

I glared at him but stayed quiet.

\-----

"I hope the others are having more fun," Armin said with a sigh. "Then again, maybe if they're having more fun that means they'd be fighting, which isn't good. I think that would be the most fun thing for Eren, at least."

"Well I just hope everyone comes back in one piece," I said. "Especially Captain Levi, he's really strong and it would be horrible to lose him."

"Lose Captain Levi? You've got to be kidding," Jean said with a snort. "The guy is obviously talented like Mikasa. There's no doubt about it, those two aren't dying anytime soon."

"We can hope, at least," Armin said.

\-----

When we did finally get the signal to leave nothing had happened at all. Maybe something had happened inside the forest, but we hadn't seen any titans in ages.

We rode back to the formation which was moving surprisingly fast. They seemed to be running away from something, but if it was the giant titan we'd seen earlier (the female titan, my mind supplied, thinking back to the conversation with the others on what exactly she had looked like) then we were absolutely screwed. She could run faster than any of our horses, so if she was looking for a specific person like I suspected then she would easily be able to find them. I figured that she was probably hunting Eren with the help of Bertholdt and Reiner, which meant she was Annie, but I couldn't tell anyone that.

My suspicions were confirmed when we finally got back to the compound with hardly any dead bodies as proof of what we'd escaped from. That didn't mean nobody had died, oh no, far from it. Some of the scouts had just had to dump what dead bodies we did have while running from titans.

Apparently the entire Levi Squad (excluding Captain Levi) was killed by the female titan. That confirmed my suspicions about her identity; Annie was exceptionally strong and talented, more so than most of the trainees in the 104th cadet corp. If anyone was able to pull something like that off after training in the body of a titan it would be her.

Armin also seemed to be figuring some of this out, but he wasn't saying anything either. Thank the spirits that Armin had both intelligence and common sense.

\-----

I planned to corner Jean the next night, since I figured we all needed our rest. I followed him silently to the woods, confused as to why he was going to a place like this at night, until he stopped in the shadows of the trees.

Then, he sunk to the base of the tree and buried his head in his hands. I could see his body shake as choked sobs found their way through the night. I didn't know what to do; he didn't know Simon well enough to justify me comforting him, and I would definitely have to comfort him before I told him the truth about myself. He deserved that much.

Instead of trying to comfort him right away, though, I first needed to let him know I was here. I purposely stepped on a branch and let the snap echo through the night as I muffled a curse. Jean shot to his feet ready to fight and I held my hands up in surrender.

"Didn't mean to scare you," I said.

"What're you doing here," Jean asked, voice raw.

"I could ask you the same."

"As if it's not already clear," Jean snarled. "Just get out, I want to be alone if you couldn't tell that much. Go invade someone else's privacy."

"Maybe I could help," I suggested. "Sometimes you just need someone to talk to, and I'm good at keeping secrets. Maybe in return I can even tell you some of mine so I have a reason not to tell yours."

Jean sniffled and shifted, seemingly considering my offer.

"Fine," he said after a few moments. "Only if you promise not to tell."

"I promise."

"Alright, can you promise not to laugh, too? It's kind of dumb."

"I promise I won't laugh, too," I agreed. "Besides, if it's got you this worked up I don't think it's going to be dumb."

"I only joined the Scouts to make someone proud," Jean whispered, "but I don't think he'd be very proud of me at this point."

"This person must be very special to you if he made that much of a difference to you," I said, walking over to him and sitting down against a tree across from him. Jean followed my lead and sat back down.

"He's special, alright," Jean said with a wistful smile. "He was always honest with me, which is special enough as it is, but he was nice to everyone." Jean sniffed and wiped at his eyes. "God I miss him so much."

"I'm sure whoever he is, wherever he is, he will be proud of you just for making it this far," I said.

"It doesn't matter what he thinks," Jean croaked. "He's dead, so he can't tell me anyways."

I sucked in a breath. "Jean, I'm sure he's still watching over you if you care about him this much."

"You don't get it, do you?" Jean asked and I shook my head. "Simon, I was in love with him! I was in love with him and I never got to tell him because he's fucking _dead_ and no one knows how or why!"

Jean completely broke after that, collapsing in on himself and sobbing. I could feel my heart shattering as he cried, tears welling up in my own eyes. He sniffled again, wiping furiously at his eyes as he sat up straighter.

"The worst thing is, I only have one thing left of him and it's not even his," Jean whispered. Before I could even ask he pulled at the chord around his neck and showed me what sat looped on it.

"That's my mother's ring," I breathed out before I could stop myself.

Jean jolted back as if he had been struck. "You must be mistaken. This can't be your ring, it's _his_ ring and he told me he didn't have any brothers, and there's no way he didn't know about a brother."

"Jean," I said. "Jean, think about it. Come on, think. I'm not Marco's brother, trust me on that."

"I never said I was talking about Marco!" Jean yelped. "Didn't mention his name once! You of all people certainly shouldn't've guessed that!"

"Jean, think, please!" I cried. "I'm not Marco's brother but it's still my mother's ring. What does that mean?"

"You're lying," Jean hissed. "You have to be. I saw his body, Simon, you don't understand, I _saw_ him lying there, dead! Half of his body was gone. The only reason I could recognize him was because he was wearing his ring."

"And you think I wasn't banking on that?" I argued. "I needed the body to be recognized as mine! If I was going to survive any longer than that man I had to be presumed dead, Jean!"

"But why didn't you tell me?" Jean's voice broke and tears spilled out of his eyes. "I wouldn't've told anyone, not a soul! I still won't! I just… Marco, if it really is you, why did you let me mourn you when you weren't even dead? I love you, how could you do that to me?"

I was crying now, too. "Jean, I had no choice. I couldn't get you alone without looking suspicious, and if they were to find out I was still alive you'd lose me for real this time. I regret not telling you earlier, I swear I do. I regretted it the moment I couldn't see you anymore and I had to wonder if you were dead or alive. I was concerned about you, Jean, not Reiner or Armin, _you_!"

Jean went silent for a moment. "Who exactly are you hiding from?"

I grimaced. "You promise not to tell? If anyone other than you finds out then they could try to kill both of us."

"Of course I promise not to tell," Jean said. "I really just need to know why you had to fake your death. It _has_ to be a big deal, I'm sure."

I sighed before continuing, knowing I wasn't going to get out of this. "I'm hiding from Bertholdt, Reiner, and Annie."

"Holy _shit_ , dude, you weren't kidding when you said you'd be dead if they knew," Jean whispered. "How have you stayed hidden this long? Scratch that, how did you _survive_ them trying to kill you the _first_ time!"

"Well they threw me to a titan after taking off my 3DMG gear," I admitted. "I don't know how I survived other than sheer luck. Honestly, Annie slipped up a bit though. She used my 3DMG gear to cover up that she killed those titans the Scouts were studying. I think Armin noticed but he's been smart enough not to say anything."

"Wait, so whose body did you use to pass off as yours?" Jean asked. "And why the name Simon Neuman?"

"Another lucky coincidence. I found a dead body that looked enough like me that I could use it and he happened to have a diary. Isn't the name fitting, though?" I said with a laugh. "I had to turn myself into a new man, and coincidentally his last name was already Neuman!"

"But the ring?" Jean asked.

"I put it on him. Had to pass it off as my body, after all."

"God you're a genius, Marco," Jean whispered. "But honestly, I really wish you had told me earlier so you wouldn't have heard all my crying about how I miss you. That's embarrassing."

"Well if it makes you feel any better I love you too," I said.

"You do?" Jean leaned forwards unconsciously, shock written all over his face.

"Yeah, I do."

Jean's face split into a bright grin as he pulled my hands into his. "This is amazing! I get to go from thinking you're dead to you being here and loving me back! I must be dreaming, there's no other way this is true!"

"You're not dreaming, I promise," I said with a smile. "Here, I can prove it to you."

"How-" Jean started, but I cut him off by pressing my lips to his.

It wasn't the perfect first kiss, definitely far from it. There were too many teeth involved and it was rushed like we'd never get to try this again, though I was sure that I'd make time for us to. I pulled Jean in closer and he followed eagerly, nearly climbing into my lap.

When we finally broke the kiss for air I grinned.

"That was pretty bad," Jean admitted.

"Yeah. That's why we'll have to practice," I joked.

"Wait, Marco," Jean said. "Will you be my boyfriend?"

"I've never wanted anything more," I said.

"Do you want to tell people?" he asked. "I don't want anyone to figure you out if they could tell Bertholdt or Reiner."

"I'm okay with telling people," I said, "especially if that means I can kiss you more."

"God, Marco," Jean groaned. "You're going to be the death of me, not those damn titans."

\-----

Jean and I kissed and talked for a little while more before we decided to go to bed. When we headed back we were surprised to find Armin standing outside the base.

"So, Simon," Armin said with a raised eyebrow, "or should I say _Marco_?"

I heard Jean mutter, "What the _fuck_."

"Armin, what do you mean?" I asked, feigning innocence. I knew it wouldn't work but it was at least worth a shot. "I thought Marco was dead according to Jean?"

"Oh cut the shit," Armin said. "Honestly, the way you look at Jean is damning enough on its own."

"Armin!" Jean whisper-shouted. "What if I hadn't told him yet?"

"Oh please, the fact that you were both gone for hours made it obvious."

"And what if I hadn't told him?" I asked.

"Again, the length of time you were gone for was damning," Armin said with a sigh. "Besides, it's not like I'm going to tell. I just figured you should know that I know."

"Even Eren?" I asked and Armin rolled his eyes.

"Like that dumbass can keep a secret," he said affectionately. "If I told him you were Marco and the female titan was Annie everyone would know instantly."

"So I was right!" I said. "You did figure it out!"

"Of course." Armin looked offended that I may have ever thought he didn't. "Using your 3DMG gear was a dumb move, and so was stopping to look at me and check who I was before killing me, and then _not_ killing me. Besides, I think Reiner was helping her, so I definitely can't tell Eren."

"Why do you think Reiner was helping her?" I asked.

"When he spun out of her grasp he didn't look hurt at all, which meant she hadn't tried to crush him," Armin said, tapping his finger against his chin as he spoke. "I think he may have carved something on her hand, now that I think back on it."

"Huh."

"Bet you already knew that, though," Armin said with a grin. "I assume he, Bertholdt, and Annie are the reason you're not going by Marco anymore."

"Wait, when did Bertholdt come into this?" Jean asked. "Like Marco said he was part of this, but when did _you_ figure it out?"

Armin shrugged. "The three of them all came from the same village and Bertholdt and Reiner are close. It was pretty easy to figure out, honestly. They're horrible at hiding it, and the only reason they haven't been found out is that we're surrounded by dumbasses." Armin punctuated that last word by looking at Jean pointedly and I found myself laughing.

"You're really good at figuring things out, Armin," I said. "You were spot on with all of that as far as I know."

"And I won't tell anyone," Armin vowed. "It would cause more chaos. I'll bring it up when it matters, though, and I expect you to tell everyone who you really are when that happens."

Before Jean and I could say anything else, Armin waved and walked away.

"Damn, he's good," Jean whispered.

"No wonder Eren likes him," I mused. At Jean's confused look I elaborated. "How have you not noticed? Eren's only really close with Mikasa and Armin, and even Mikasa can't pull him out of his titan form when he's out of control. That's all Armin, Jean."

"Huh," Jean said. "Now that I think about it, you're right."

"I've done enough match-making with just us getting together, though," I said. "I'm going to let them sort that out themselves. We're going to bed."

"Right. Mine or yours?" Jean asked with a smirk.

"Separate beds, dumbass," I chuckled. "Maybe later we can cuddle or something, but I want to sleep in my own bed tonight."

"I could always join you though," Jean pleaded.

"Nope, not tonight," I said.

"Fine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End Note: I couldn't find anything about what the sleeping situation with the Scouts would be. So I took liberties and they have a dorm-esque setup where everyone sleeps in one big room based on age or whatever, so the 104th have their own room, Levi and Erwin have their own room because Hange noped out of that situation, Hange just kind of goes wherever the fuck she wants, you get the idea.


	5. Cleaning With Captain Levi: Featuring Armin Arlert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The others literally Do Not Understand how Jean could ever date Simon while he's still hung up on Marco. Of course, they don't know that Simon _is_ Marco, but I personally like to think that Eren will always be permanantly offended by Jean being lovey-dovey with anyone. He just has so much pent up romantic tension with Armin that even if he and Armin are able to finally get together I doubt he'd be fine with Jean's PDA.

The next morning Jean went out of his way to catch me on the way to breakfast and peck me on the cheek. I felt my face flush as Armin rolled his eyes, but everyone else looked completely shocked.

"Wait, are you two a thing?" Connie blurted out. "Since when? How long?"

"Since last night," Jean said, looping an arm around my shoulders. "We had a bit of a heart-to-heart and realized we liked each other and there's no time like the present."

"Huh," Sasha said around a mouthful of food. "I always thought you had a thing for Marco that you'd never move on from."

Connie elbowed her hard with a snort. "Sasha, I know we were all thinking it but we weren't supposed to _say_ anything."

"Well I know I'm glad that you're feeling better, Jean," Christa said. "You look a lot less sad."

"Love can do that to you," Ymir said simply with a pointed look at Christa, who seemed not to notice.

"Isn't it a little too early to be calling it love?" Mikasa asked.

"I'd say we know each other well enough," I said, looking at Jean with all the love I could pack into my eyes. Eren gagged.

"If this is how you guys are going to be from now on I'm going to have to kick at least one of you out," he said.

Armin snorted and Connie started laughing.

"Don't act like it's not cute," Armin said.

"It's not!" Eren complained.

"Yeah, well, we should let them be," Christa suggested. "They deserve to have whatever time they can."

Eren was grumbling protests about how gross we were, but Armin was able to shut him up pretty easily by saying if they really were that gross then he could always just leave. The rest of breakfast went pretty much as normal except I was sitting next to Jean.

About halfway through the meal I felt Jean's foot curl around my ankle and I glanced over at him. He wasn't even looking at me but instead was focused on talking to Connie as that traitorous foot continued to rub against my ankle. It was honestly infuriating that Jean could split his attention so well and so easily, but at the same time it was nice that he was touching me and thinking about me even while doing other things.

After breakfast we cleaned up and went to work cleaning more of the base with Captain Levi's near-constant criticism. Jean and I decided to work together and Connie pantomimed gagging when we walked off on our own.

Once I was sure it was just the two of us in the room I closed the door to avoid distractions and we got to work.

\-----

"Hey Marco, can you come over here?" Jean asked from across the room.

"Of course, what do you need?" I asked as I started walking over.

"I think there's a spider," Jean whispered as he backed away from the corner he'd been cleaning.

"Wait, are you scared of spiders?" I asked.

"You can't tell anyone!" he whined. "I'll have you know that this was a well-kept secret! It's just stupid that I'm scared of spiders more than titans."

"Well I'm scared of Captain Levi more than I am of titans so I don't think it's all that strange," I mumbled as I swatted my broom at the spiderweb Jean had found. "Actually, I'm scared of a lot more things than Captain Levi. Titans come towards the middle of the list, really."

"I assume Annie, Reiner, and Bertholdt come close to Captain Levi?" Jean asked.

I felt a shiver run down my spine. "You have no idea. Reiner's like a brother to everyone and seems harmless at a first glance but have you seen how huge he is? I feel like he could just crush me, and it's awful."

"At least we don't have to deal with Annie being here."

"Jean, I've already seen her out here once. She's the female titan, remember?"

"Oh shit, yeah," Jean said as he went back to the now spider-free corner he had been cleaning. "I'm not really phased by that since she never really liked us anyways but Bertholdt and Reiner is what gets me. I really thought they were looking out for us."

I snorted. "You weren't the one who asked when the wedding was going to be."

"You fucking _what_?" Jean sputtered.

"It was before they tried to kill me," I said with a shrug. "They always seemed close and I just wanted to tease them a bit. Reiner seemed to get a kick out of how red Bertholdt got, which is good at least."

"I guess that's good," Jean said. "It's just that I didn't expect them to be the kind of people who would take well to that sort of a joke."

"I guess we both misread them in multiple ways," I joked. "I wish that they weren't titan shifters, though. If they weren't I get the feeling that I could've been much better friends with them."

"Same here. How do you think everyone's going to take the news if it ever gets out?"

"Connie's not going to want to believe it," I admitted. "Reiner is like the older brother he never had, I've heard him say so myself. If he were to find out that Reiner was a titan shifter before the rest of them things could get bad, but who knows."

"I think Eren's going to take it the worst," Jean said. "He wants to kill all the titans, right? Well, that means he's going to have a hard time holding himself back from going after Reiner in his human form, even if it could hurt the rest of us. If it could hurt Armin, though, he may reconsider."

"I knew you had some brains in there!" I teased, then I started coughing as I accidentally inhaled a spray of dust from the windowsill in front of me.

"Are you okay?" Jean asked and I could hear him start making his way over to where I was.

"Yeah, just a little dust," I coughed out.

"Do you need water?" he asked. "Marco, I can get you some water, I can get you anything you need, just say the word."

I laughed a little as I stopped coughing. "Hey, hey, stop worrying. I'm fine."

"I don't want to lose you," Jean whispered. "I lost you once, I don't want it to happen again."

"You're not going to lose me," I said. "Not if I have anything to say about it."

"But you _don't_ and that's the problem!" Jean said. "I know that neither of us can control who lives and dies during this, and if Reiner and Bertholdt were to find out you were still alive you'd be dead for sure. I can't protect you no matter how much I want to and it makes me feel useless. I know that we're dating and I'm extremely happy to have you back but I still can't help but feel like I'm just dragging you down."

"You're not dragging me down," I promised. "You could _never_ drag me down. I've wanted to tell you about who I am and what I've had to go through since I saw you at the campfire before we even joined the Scouts. I really wanted to go and slap some sense into you, sure, but I was never upset with you, disappointed in you, or thinking any less of you for anything you've done."

"You were at the campfire?" Jean whispered. "I didn't see you there.... Well, I mean, I _did_ see you but it was a hallucination."

"You hallucinated me?" That stopped me in my tracks. I had no clue Jean had been this thrown into turmoil about my death, and now I couldn't help but wonder what exactly he had hallucinated. Hallucinations don't just happen every day, they're far more rare and dangerous than that.

"I hallucinated you being there, next to me, while I was holding some of the ashes," Jean admitted. "You said what you told me when we were fighting the titans together for the first time. That's always stuck with me, y'know, since you said it. I couldn't help but fall in love with you, not when you said things like that. No one's ever said anything like that to me other than you, so I just wanted to honor your memory and make you proud." Jean broke off with a strained laugh. "Guess I did a pretty shit job of doing that, though."

"Jean, you did perfect," I insisted. "The main thing I care about is that you stayed alive. I don't care what you had to do or how proud of yourself you are, I'm proud of you just for that. You staying alive means a lot more to me than you being brave, or you being reckless, or even you being a good leader. You could've run away from any of the things we've seen and I'd still be just as grateful that you're alive."

"Marco," Jean breathed, and he seemed like he was about to say something when he was interrupted by the door slamming open.

We both turned to the door to see who had interrupted us and it was none other than Armin. He gave us a knowing look before rolling his eyes and gesturing to the room.

"You both still have a lot of work to do, you know," he said.

"Right!" Jean said, flustered and quickly heading back over to the side of the room he had chosen to clean.

I went back to cleaning as well and I vaguely heard Armin mutter something about us being ridiculous as he was leaving. It didn't matter what he thought about us, though, because from what I could tell he didn't seem to mind and even if he did it wasn't like Jean or I particularly cared. We had each other now, which was more than we could say for the past few weeks. It really was nice to have someone who knew who I really was and would call me by my real name, even if it was only in private.

Armin had made a point to prop the door open so Jean and I didn't close it and instead went back to cleaning in a comfortable silence. Armin was right; we had a lot of work to do.

\-----

That night Jean insisted that I sleep next to him, and I couldn't say no a second time. He said that he had heard me having nightmares in the past and wanted to help me in any way he could, and that maybe having someone to hold onto or confide in would help. I especially couldn't refuse that reasoning.

Jean curled up against my side on his bed and basically wrapped himself around me. Usually this sort of thing would make me feel suffocated, but it was Jean so I mostly just felt warm, comfortable, and at home in his arms.

I was able to sleep through the night without any nightmares for the first time since I had almost died.


	6. The Plan to Keep Eren Yeager

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lemme just say one thing: I'm an Armin stan and writing him is _so fun_! I can't help but to give him a subplot of his own in what was supposed to be primarily a JeanMarco fic because he is baby. He deserves the world so I'm going to give it to him... within the limits of what's realistic in terms of canon, of course. Anyways, enjoy the fluff and humor with a good dose of angst like usual!

The next day was fairly uneventful, but the threat of the Female Titan still weighed on everyone's minds. Someone as terrifying and capable as Annie being in control of a titan was something that instilled a fear in me that sunk deep into my bones and I could only hope that I would never have to confront her. Eren, on the other hand, seemed absolutely set on finding her and killing her so that she couldn't hurt anybody else. While that was a great idea and I was sure Eren was only saying that he wanted to do this because he felt strongly about people risking their lives for him, it was still nerve-wracking to know that Eren wanted to face down against Annie.

Annie had always been cold and I had always held a healthy balance of fear and respect for her, but once I found out she was a titan shifter (along with Bertholdt and Reiner) all of that respect went away. Instead I had fear and a blood-boiling hatred for her, Bertholdt, Reiner, and everything that they were trying to accomplish. I had been keeping an eye on Bertholdt and Reiner, but Annie wasn't nearby unless we came into contact with the Female Titan so I couldn't keep an eye on her like I wanted to.

There hadn't been many cadets Annie couldn't beat, Mikasa being one of the few that was a toss-up on who would win, but with her in a titan's body that she seemed to be very practiced at using I doubted anyone could take her down.

Captain Levi came to us that night with a grim face and pointed glances at Eren. We were already on the edge of our seats but I knew this would likely make it worse. Jean glanced and me nervously and I took his hand in mine, comforting both myself and him.

"So the MPs have issued something or other saying that they want Eren," Captain Levi grumbled. "Obviously we're not going to let that happen, but we _will_ have to pull some shenanigans in order to keep Eren. First order of business, we need a stand-in for Eren who looks enough like him to pass off as him. Jean, that will be your job."

"What the hell?" Jean exclaimed. "I look nothing like him!"

"Yeah, horse-face over there could never look enough like me to fool even the dumbest MPs!" Eren complained. Jean and I both glared at him but he ignored us and continued. "Besides, why not just dress someone else up? If you try hard enough I'm sure someone else could do it just fine."

"Erwin already decided," Captain Levi said. "And that brings us to the next part of the plan: catching the female titan. Armin, if you will?"

"Ah, yes!" Armin said, standing up. "So I have proof that Annie is likely to be the female titan, though she is probably working with other people that we haven't identified yet."

 _Oh thank the spirits_ , I thought. _Even though he's revealing Annie, he's at least smart enough not to out Bertholdt and Reiner quite yet._

"So in order to out Annie as the female titan without a doubt we're going to need to catch her transforming with witnesses. I've made a plan that will use me, Mikasa, and Eren as bait. The rest of you will be hidden out around the location we're going to try and get her to transform in order to be damage control if things go wrong. Any questions?"

"If it's a plan made by Armin and Erwin I'll do it," Eren said with a manic grin. "Anything to catch Annie is a good plan, but with Armin and Erwin as the brains behind the operation it's destined to go well!"

I rolled my eyes at Jean with a subtle nod at Eren and Jean smiled slightly.

"I'll do it too," Mikasa said. "Where Eren goes I go."

"Mother hen much?" I muttered under my breath and Jean snorted.

"Care to share with the group?" Captain Levi said with a slight frown.

"No thanks," I said.

"Yeah, I'll pass," Jean said.

"Very well," Captain Levi said.

"We're in, by the way," Connie said, nodding at Sasha.

"And so are we," Reiner said as he was leaning against Bertholdt. If they hadn't tried to kill me I'd say they were cute together.

"Simon?" Armin asked. "Jean? How about you two?"

"We'll do it," Jean said. "Even if I hate having to dress up as the suicidal maniac over there, I'll do it for the sake of us all. And by the sake of us all of course I mean that I don't want to be on the receiving end of Mikasa's anger."

"It's not like I'm happy that you're the one that has to be me, horse-face," Eren huffed. "Just be glad that you'll be far enough from the action that you won't get hurt, you pretty little princess."

"You wanna go?" Jean said, shooting to his feet. "Right here, in front of everyone, in front of Captain Levi, you wanna go, punk?"

"Jean," I groaned, tugging at his sleeve. "Now is _not_ the time."

"I beg to differ," Eren said, now also standing. "Now is the perfect time! What better time to brawl out all of our hatred than right before I go and face off against the strongest cadet in the 104th?"

"Eren, just sit back down," Armin pleaded. "We can do this after the mission, save your energy."

"Yeah Eren, Armin's right," Mikasa said. "You two should do this later."

"Fine, I'll stand down since I know you won't," Jean said, sitting down in my lap. I let out a squeak in disbelief and Jean just leaned back against me.

"Dramatic," Sasha whispered. "Both of you are so dramatic."

"I'm going to take my leave before things get too difficult for me to handle," Captain Levi said with a sigh. "Get ahold of yourselves before tomorrow, we're leaving at dawn."

With that Captain Levi left. All hell broke loose when the door closed.

"It's honestly disgusting how you just… do that!" Eren wailed. "I hate this!"

"How who does what?" Mikasa asked.

"Jean! That!" Eren waved at where Jean and I were sitting.

"What, me sitting in my boyfriend's lap?" Jean snapped. "You got a problem with it, Yeager?"

"I do!" Eren stood up and stalked over to us, pulling Jean up by his collar. "You're being so disgusting and just disregarding all of the struggle that we're going through, do you even recognize how much trauma we all have? I thought you of all people would understand, especially after what happened with Marco!"

The room went silent. Jean collapsed back onto me and I wrapped my arms around him on instinct. I could feel his silent sobs against my chest and I held him tighter, glaring at Eren.

"Go," I growled. "All of you, you're not welcome here right now. Armin, Mikasa, please talk to Eren about human decency, will you? The rest of you, can it. Leave us for a bit."

Everyone got up and left the room, though Eren was grumbling something about how Jean and I were the ones acting weird while Armin was guiding him out of the room and shushing him. Thank the spirits for Armin's wisdom, I swear most of us wouldn't be here without it.

Once everyone was gone and the door was shut I pried Jean out of my chest.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" I asked, the pet name just coming naturally. "Actually, that's a dumb question, you're obviously not okay. Do you want to talk about it?"

Jean shook his head and buried his face in my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around him and got as comfortable as I could, prepared to sit here and comfort Jean for as long as I needed to. I'd sit here for an eternity convincing him I was here, I was alive, if it only meant that he'd be at my side the next day.

\-----

That night I got Jean to bed and waited for him to fall asleep before going out to the woods. I heard footsteps behind me and whirled around to catch whoever could be trying to kill me, only to breathe a sigh of relief when I realized it was just Armin.

"I'm so sorry about what Eren said earlier," he said.

"It's not you who needs to apologize," I said. "Besides, I'm not the one you'd need to apologize to, anyways."

"You two are close. Seeing Jean like that… it was enough to hurt the best of us, except for Eren, of course, but I'm sure it hit you the hardest. Especially considering the context."

"Yes, well, you just need to help Eren learn to be a little more sensitive and it'll all be fine."

"Mind if I join you out here for a bit? You didn't seem like you were just coming out here for a quick stroll."

I smiled. "Of course I don't mind. Who else would talk to me for who I truly am, other than Jean? Your presence is always welcome."

"I'm glad to hear it," Armin said, gesturing for me to sit down with him under the cover of a few trees. "So, if you want I'd love to hear your story."

\-----

Armin and I talked and traded stories until the moon was high in the sky and then we sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments longer. We agreed that since such an important battle was tomorrow we should get some rest, and we started to head back inside.

"I actually followed you for a reason other than apologizing," Armin admitted.

"What reason would that be?" I asked.

"I… oh, how do you put it?" Armin thought for a second before just staring straight ahead of us and avoiding my gaze. "Fuck it. How did you know you like Jean?"

That was one surprise after another. Armin cursing and then asking me about romance? I never would've guessed that would happen in a million years.

"If I'm being honest, I don't know the exact moment I fell for him," I started. "It was the little things, at least at first. Him breaking off a small piece of his bread to share with me, him checking on me when things were going badly, that sort of stuff. It really hit me when Annie attacked you, Jean, and Reiner out on the field, though. Christa and I found Jean's horse, as you know, and I calmed her down and was able to convince her to come with us. You know how Coco is, she hates everyone who isn't Jean… or me, apparently. Christa noticed that and pointed out that I care a lot for Jean and then it… well, it clicked."

"Huh." Armin frowned with a far-off look in his eye. "That wasn't what I expected you to say, to be honest, but it does help clear things up. Thanks, Marco."

"Anytime. And, well, if you don't mind answering this for me, is this about Eren by any chance?" I asked.

"Am I that obvious?" Armin squeaked.

"Honestly? Not really. I was more just hoping for Eren's sake since he's so head-over-heels for you," I said. _So much for not playing matchmaker anymore._ "If anyone's going to calm him down and help him get better, it's going to be you. He trusts you so unconditionally that he makes himself look like a lost puppy following you around. I'm pretty sure Sasha and Connie probably have bets about the two of you."

"They do?" Armin's hands flew up to hide his likely very red face. "So that means I should probably just ask him out and get it over with, doesn't it?"

"See, this might just be me, but personally I'd wait for someone to tell you what both of them are betting on exactly and then rig you asking Eren out so that one of them will win and the other won't," I said. "If it were me I'd probably rig it in Sasha's favor because that would be hilarious since I'm sure what she bet on is probably ridiculous."

"Marco, you're a genius," Armin muttered.

"Nope, that's your job," I joked. "Now let's get back inside so that we can actually get some sleep tonight and be ready for everything tomorrow."

Armin nodded and we finally headed inside, going straight for our respective beds and falling right asleep.


End file.
